[x]

MaybeMaybe I needed to leave.

Maybe we needed this
All this time alone,
With other people.

Maybe we still need this,
All this time.
We have so much of it ahead of us,
But so little.

And it may take months,
Years.
So long,
Dragging itself out,
But gone in the blink of an eye.

So,
Before you know it,
One day
We'll be happy again.

Not Even 15 MinutesI'm sitting here
Keeping a promise,
One I always knew I would regret.
And that's what got me into this.

Always.

I said I'd always be here for you,
Always keep my promises,
Always tell the truth.

So here we are,
You needing my voice
And, god, I don't know why.

You have someone else,
A shoulder to cry on,
A smile,
Someone willing to take you as you are,
And she's right there.

But you call me,
And you joke,
And you mumble off to sleep
For the first time in who knows when.
Sleep is still your enemy
And I'm still a soldier in that fight.

And then I succeed,

Just one more small battle,
And you drift off in my ear.
And you m

Peace of PieceShort, broken exchanges
Pain hidden behind
Waiting for it to be gone,
Not lingering in my mind

My throat always so empty
Voice always so still
Words always so silent
Yet fighting past my swill

It comes out at the wrong time
Past when I know I'm wrong
Fighting for my peace, my piece,
Whichever helps me move along

Struggling to get this
All sounding just right
Butchering my lone attempts
That make jagged edges in the night

Difficult to sleep
In a world where nightmares thrive
Begging for my piece, my peace,
To make it out alive.

Why Why WhyWhy do you let me do this.

You tell me something you now I'll hate,
Oh, and baby, did I ask for it.
Begged, pleaded.
Always wanting the truth
Never wanting the truth.

And then I come up out of nowhere,
Stewing in the pain,
And I get it out in the most simplistic way I know how.
I take it out
And I take it to you.

And I cut,
Scratch,
I say things I know will hurt,
Bite
Tear
Pull
Rip,
Everything I can to unsettle you.

And you let me run my course
And you let me cool off
And you wait until I'm sorry,
Crying,
Apologizing,
Finally processing the pain.

And you skip over it,
Ignore it,
Tell me it's okay,
Drown me in those

LookingSitting and thinking
Poisoning my mind
Digging this hole deeper
In the hopes I might find

A hidden rabbit hole
To get me away from here,
Trade in this broken life
For a world wild and queer

I'd traipse among the tulips,
Give them a piece of my mind
Coax a hedgehog through the hoops
And keep my flamingo right in line

Become a queen for a color
And never have jam today,
Run to keep the world still
And watch oysters walk their way

Any sort of nonsense
To get me away from this,
Let dreams take me away,
Trade reality for bliss.

ExhaustedI wish everything
Were how it used to be,
Just black and white,
Just you and me

But things got so muddled
And my outlook got skewed,
Everything cracked and gray,
Feelings permanently bruised

All the clear paths
Broken and full of ruts,
Simple hopes set down
For reality to cut

Nights without sleep
Questions abound
Without a single answer
To clarify the sound

Working out my path
Through whatever's left
Hiking, tripping, falling,
Feet far past deft

Energy sapped out
Pleading to move on,
Begging to give in,
Endlessly, ever wrong.

Always YouIt's always you.

You were the reason I was happy
So happy.

So content,
Days of feeling comfortable
In my skin,
My life
Of knowing I was good enough,
If only for a while.
And only for a while it was.

You were why I was smiling
So many smiles.

Uncontrollable laughter,
So amused,
Blissful,
Feelings I'd forgotten abound,
Nothing mattered
But us.
And now it's like we never mattered.

You were the reason I could sleep
My only source of dreams.

No more nightmares,
Fears fought away
Cradled in hopes,
My only form of safety
Found in your voice.
A voice I'm afraid I'll one day forget.

Now you're why I'm confused
So lost in my

Waking UpEyes open so wide, so fast.
Desperately searching
for affirmation or denial
in the landscape.

Looking but seeing
nothing.

Breath is coming in short,
painful
gasps.

Each one is a struggle,
and they're only
gradually
getting easier.

Panic and terror reluctantly
abating,
ebbing away slowly,
grips on my sanity grudgingly slipping off
to where they'd surfaced from.

Reality
bleeding in,
fears
tucking themselves away.

Until the next night.

The next time I close my eyes.

Breaking.

And my nightmares
are finally grabbing me
through daylight's cracks.

Waiting for her to come this wayThe breeze tousles through the night and his hair.
He sits in expectance for her to come here;
waiting for her to come this way.

Like that first time; her footsteps echoed so loud.
In a night as such not even the moon could be proud.
An ethereal glow she emitted, an embodying light.
The wind ruffled her black locks like an angel in flight.

Her breath was a sanctifying whisper of life
and her dress; oh a woven fabric of natures device.
Her soft traces upon the earth would have grown
the fruit bearing brushwood, piercing through a stone.

The hair settled; the wings retreated, her eyes slowly set
on a young boy tending tulips. Their

Unconditional loveWill you love me when I no longer have arms to cradle you in?

Or when I no longer have lips to kiss you?

When my heart stops beating and my lungs begin to empty

Will you shed a tear for me?

Will you love me when I no longer have eyes to see you with?

Or when I no longer have ears to hear you cry?

When my mouth refuses to utter as single word, and I can't say I love you

Will you still know that I do?

Will you love me on the rainy day when I rest in peace?

Or in the proceeding future where I am no longer there?

Will you move on and find someone else to love?

Will you know that I am content with that?

Trust me.Are you okay?

Ahah. Yes I am. I'm just tired.

Tired of? Come on, talk to me.

Sigh. You don't want to know.

Yes, yes I do. I care about you. What's the problem?

Trust me. You don't want to know.

Try me.

Fine. I drag it again and again everyday on my back.

It attacks me,
Sometimes once a month,
Sometimes once in a week,
Sometimes once a day.

It ushers me,
To be braver than I am,
To do more than I possibly ever could.
And I'm okay with that, sometimes, even glad.

I feed it, I tend to it, I nurture "it's" ways, and give in all the time.

It requires too much of me, for the only way to feed it is through my blood and tears, f

UndeservingI simply don't deserve,
To hold anyone in my arms,
And call them mine.

Never Let You GoNever let you go, I'll always be there for you.
To always catch you when you fall, Keep you safe.
To always hold you, keep you warm.
You make me feel needed and alive.
If I had the chance, I'd marry you in a heartbeat.
I love you with all of my heart, I know you do as well.
You are one of the best things that has ever happened to me.
As long as I'm alive, I will never let you go, I will be there for you.
I will forever be yours, because there has never been anyone like you before.

Saved By Being SeenI used to spend my nights crying
In all of the sadness of dying,
For I was sick on the inside
I really thought I had died.

But one bright day I was found
Someone took me from the pound,
Took me into their heart and home
I once was free to go and roam,
This feeling was so new to me
Never had someone look and see,
My true colors so brightly before
And I didn't have to beg for more.

Browse More Like This

Download File
HTML, 474 bytes more ▶

More from *JassieMaam

FrustratedI see you, here and there.
Stalking in and out of my life
Long past the when you had the right.

Hiding,
Creeping,
Sneaking,
Your name a note in the middle of my victories.

You think you hide so efficiently,
That after all that you did
With your tearing down
And spiked words
I wouldn't notice your exploits.

But then you hop up
With your veiled insults in public.

You hear the wrong side,
The one that hides all I've done.
Demeaning,
Degrading,
Unnecessarily cruel.

I am more than you will ever be,
More than you will ever know.
More than your dirty words.

So keep your sneaky mouth shut,
Little girl.
Be wrong somewhere far f

Hey You,You, you, always you. When it's right, when it's wrong, when I just don't know, like now. It's always to you I talk because it's an impulse now, to just turn to you. Even when you're not there.

I'm trying. You know? To be better, to do better. To be happy just for the sake of happiness. It's difficult. People talk about being happy like it's so easy. Well,I'm giving it a go, and it seems more an art than anything to me. An art that's tricky and requires flexibility, loss. Giving up to feel fulfilled. I'm no good at that. I'm too used to having things ripped from me to just.. To just let things go. I want to hold on to everything good I've ev

View Gallery · View Prints

Featured in Groups:

#BleedingHeartsPoetry
A Poetry Club

#Unseen-Writers
For the writers and readers

#My-Soul-Bleeds-Ink
We write; it's who we are.

#Understood-Accepted
We understand your pain

Details

Submitted: August 1, 2012
File Size: 474 bytes

Link

Thumb

Statistics

Comments: 5
Favourites: 14 [who?]
Views: 70 (1 today)
Downloads: 5 (0 today)

[x]

I Just Want To Get Out

by *JassieMaam, Aug 1, 2012, 4:34:49 AM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Urban & Spoken Word

Out of this place,
out of this life.

Out of everything.

Somewhere better.
Somewhere where I could look at things
and not be reminded of..
Anything.

Where I could just go
to forget
and be forgotten.

But I wake up every morning
in the same bed as the day before.

And it crushes me.

I Just Want To Get Outby *JassieMaam

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Urban & Spoken Word

©2012-2013 *JassieMaam

Overthinking when I wish I could be sleeping.

~foreverforwards Jan 3, 2013

Incredibly thought provoking. I felt the crushing of waking The last two sentences. Awesome work.
P.S. Hope you're okay

Reply

!DancingShadowLeaves Jan 3, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

I have felt like this before. Excellent job on capturing that emotion!

Reply

~silvertitan93 Jan 2, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

I know this feeling. Its a great poem and hope you feel better

Reply

~Sutsuki-Sensei Jan 2, 2013

Well-written but I am sure that there are people that care about you and are happy to see you.

I hope that things get better for you friend. ^^

Reply

~Mierren Aug 2, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

good!

Reply

Previous
Next